I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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