its not stalking. its research.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
