the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
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He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
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We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We're too hungover to prance.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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