epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
