i just wanna soil my oats bro
This girl is more easily done than said...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No subtext here. People are naked.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
