Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
