this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
