I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
