Someone shit on the floor
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
