first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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