Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
