Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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