I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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