It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
