Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
