I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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