Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize