Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize