North Korea, Best Korea!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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