Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
