are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
