my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
