you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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