Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
