dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize