I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
