my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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