did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
