Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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