make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This house was built for laser tag.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
