So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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