A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
