Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Randomize
