i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
