What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
