alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
