I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
