Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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