K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
