YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
