If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
