Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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