Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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