How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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