you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
