We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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