Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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