Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
