i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
