No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
