If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
