i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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