We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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