He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
