Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
