now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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