JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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