Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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