I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
