i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
