He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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