Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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