Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
