what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
